“It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.” — Pablo Picasso
Sometimes in persuasion, the thing to do is to get provocative. I’m not talking about being inappropriate or crass, I’m not talking about being overtly sexual, but I am suggesting that you access the core drives a little, those primal drives that link each and every one of us as human animals, and specifically I’m thinking of the drive to reproduce.
When you hear the word seduction your mind probably thinks of sex or luring someone away from proper conduct or accepted mores. Another definition of seduction is to win over and attract. Sounds a lot like persuasion. We are literally enticing someone into our mindsets or desired outcomes.
A friend of mine told me that they flirt with everyone they come into contact with — men, women, waitresses, mechanics, grandmas, grandpas, all ages, nationalities, shapes, and sizes. At first this struck me as incredibly weird but as I began to watch him, I noticed that what he called ‘flirting’ I recognized as being very charming. When I reframed his flirtatiousness as charm, I fully understood his reasoning.
Here’s another way to view this: it’s rapport with a twist.
Not everyone can pull this off and absolutely, there’s a time and a place for everything. A caution for women: men are highly susceptible to flirtation and charm and very clear boundaries should be maintained at all times.
Here’s another way to access this powerful motivator, simply insert into your conversation words that are titillating. This is a more subtle way of stimulating this drive that can give sometimes vague, sometimes intense triggers of that core drive.
Phew. . . did you catch that? I was just giving an example and got a little carried away, but now you get the idea.
Don’t go too off the charts with this one or people might think you’re creepy, but there is great benefit in turning on the lights and bringing these things out into the open to expose how they can turn us into better persuaders.
So while I may not exactly admit to being a flirt, I will say that I do enjoy the process of charming as a way to persuade and, in general, a way to make people feel good.
